One of the biggest struggles we’ve had in playing with control in our relationship is how to get started. My stimulation comes as a result of my wife initiating things, with a sense of authority and total control. There’s one problem though, she really needs to act with authority, otherwise it’s just a silly role play and I won’t take her seriously. This is a huge struggle for us, because as much as I want her to play with me, and she would like to play, we can never seem to get started because I don’t feel forced (feeling forced is EXTREMELY key).
From experience, probably the two biggest mistaken approaches a woman can make when trying to initiate things are 1) asking their Sissy to do something with the justification of just the idea that she’s in charge because he wants her to be in charge (not because she’s enforcing it), and/or 2) trying to sound like a just a plain mean angry bitch, because it’s probably the most vivid image they’ve perceived of a traditional Dominatrix and they think that’s what us Sissy’s want. The truth is, for this Sissy at least, I react most when my wife uses her soft, gentle, but firm feminine ways to assert authority and control in a way that commands my respect. There are lots of great resources on the web for powerful techniques and methods for gaining control and authority, (for example the Around-My-Finger and related sites) that I encourage women to explore.
Here’s a quick ideas about how I suggest to get started with commanding power/control over a Sissy and gain authority. Much like commanding the respect an authority figure over a kid, think of your Sissy and an overgrown you child and manage him the same way. I’ve found there are two things motivate people are Fear and their quest for something they want/need. You can use both of these motivations to achieve quick and easy control and authority over him.
1) something they WANT or NEED might be for example: sex, the privilege of sleep with you, to have a café, something new they want to buy, or somewhere they want to go, access to their mobile phone, computer, wallet, passport, freedom, keys, privacy
When playing with what the Want/Need, you need to first determine what they have and what they don’t. If you’re in a position to give them something they want or need, they will listen to you. If they don’t already have it, you may consider offering to help them get it as a reward for doing something you want them to (for example, putting on the chastity device, or wearing a pair of panties). If they already have it, you may consider taking it away from them… and then taking control over what it is that they want, in order to be able to offer it back to them for doing what you want them to do.
2) Something they FEAR: anything they have that you have control to take away from them, being exposed, humiliated, punished.
In order to use fear to take control you need to be able to threaten. Threats mean nothing unless they are Credible. The only way to show credibility, is to make sure to follow through with threats. You can use simple things to make that point…. And in order to have unquestionable credibility, you should over perform on consequences of a threat now and then just to make things clear. If you fail to follow through with a threat, you will lose your credibility. Always follow through if you don’t get what you want the first time…even if you have to excuse it to him as a “necessary evil” in order to maintain a standard.
As time goes on and your Sissy learns that you are sincere, serious, firm, confident (not angry or bitchy), and consistent with your methods for asserting authority, you'll see that he'll soon have the "perception" of your constant control (even more powerful than control in itself), and his compliance with your requests and expectations will come increasingly easier.
Apart from using the above tactics, the BIGGEST MOTIVATOR for me by far is when I see a woman is Really Enjoying administering her control and authority. I can definitely feel this if she has a big smile on her face, or hear her tone of voice confident (positive, realistic, threatening and firm, but soft and sweet), if she openly talks about the predicaments (what she's planning to do to me, and what she's done) in a very positive and proud way, and if I see her spending time and energy preparing for it (on the internet, or through books, etc).... this is a HUGE motivator to want to comply with her efforts to assert authority, control, discipline, and humiliation over me.
Idea Involving: Practical Tip